Wishing you all the best, Uncle R :)

Every Tues, Wed, Thursday morning, I bring baby Elephant to his Grandma's place. Uncle R picks us up in his taxi. Each of those mornings, I receive an sms around 6.30am that says very simply, "10 min". So I make sure everything's ready by 6.30am, before I receive the sms. Then I bring baby Elephant down 5 min after I receive the sms, because I noticed he is always early and prefer not to keep him waiting, although he says he would prefer that he waits for us than us him.

The journey to Grandma's place takes less than 15 min, but over the course of several months, baby Elephant and I have grown used to and even fond of the routine. The faithful sms, the lively, jive-worthy Tamil songs playing softly as we enter the taxi, the very smooth drive, the stories that Uncle R tells us and his opinions on a variety of subjects.

He would always tell me that young couples need to save up, be content with what they have and to appreciate each stage of baby Elephant's development. He says he doesn't understand why some parents would complain that their child is naughty and constantly moving or jumping around and tugging on things. He once knew a young boy who could not walk, only crawl around the house and rarely spoke. This boy was later diagnosed with an illness and on the hospital bed, they did not know if he would ever recover. He was still as quiet as ever. Uncle R would visit him and just sit and talk to him and hand him his toys. One day, as he was leaving, the boy called out to him, "Uncle R!". Uncle R bounded across the room to hug the the boy. The boy passed away a few days later. I could see Uncle R begin to choke up as he talked about the boy. So to Uncle R, if the child can jump around, we should be thankful.

Uncle R told me about his family, about the sudden passing of his father, his relationships with his siblings, his wife, his three children, how he had been so strict with the eldest but that he misses him terribly because he's studying abroad, his previous company where he been a loyal employee for more than twenty years, until the company stopped operations in Singapore and the list goes on.

He is very passionate about his faith, often stating that prayer is essential, a non-negotiable, because without it, you shouldn't say you are a follower of the faith. He said he never fully learned to read the Koran when he was a young boy, and so as a young adult, in his mid-twenties, he felt a great sense of remorse at the number of years he was not a faithful follower and shame because when he went for prayers in the mosque, he would not understand what was going on. Slowly he learnt how to read the Koran, and made changes to his life so that he could live according to his faith. Since then, every year during the fasting month, he extends his fast by an extra week so as to make amends for the years he had not fasted. He has been doing this for more than twenty years. While we do not share the same faith, there are many things he has taught me about the attitude and posture of a follower of a faith.

This morning, he told me that today will be the last day he will drive this taxi. The main hirer for the taxi had been involved in an unfortunate accident and was in a coma that lasted a couple of months. After he had come out of the coma, he remained home to recover fully. For the past three months, the hirer's brother covered the night shift (as he still continued his day job) while Uncle R drove the day shift, with extended hours so as to help the hirer's brother a little. The main hirer has now fully recovered and will be resuming his full day shift duties. Uncle R showed such joy that his hirer had fully recovered, because it was nothing short of a miracle. Prior to this hirer, Uncle R's previous hirer had to return the taxi because he could not meet the rental charge, even though Uncle R was always faithful in paying for his portion. So Uncle R had to search for another hirer and found the current one.

There was a time gap of slightly more than a month between the first and second hirer. Uncle R had no job during that time, but he told me that he would remember me and would call me when he got another hirer. Honestly, I thought he would forget all about it, because he was under no obligation to help me. But he did call, and resumed picking us up on three mornings every week. This morning, he told me the same thing, that he would call me if he found another hirer and if he was going to continue driving a taxi. He had been recommended for another job, as a security guard. The job location is far away and he would be getting half his current earnings, but the job is not half as exhausting as driving a taxi. The company has not yet given him a firm offer, but he says the likelihood is quite high. If he doesn't get the job, he will most likely search for a new hirer. He views his hirer's notice as a chance to take a well-deserved break and to see where God leads him next. Again, I learn from him here again.

He has always told me he does not like the job of a taxi driver, but he had few career options after being retrenched. Despite this, he does an excellent job daily and never fails to meet his rental charges and still take home more than enough for the family. Even though baby Elephant and I would be delighted to receive his call and the next "10 min" sms from him again, we hope even more, that he will find a job he enjoys and will provide for him and his family. Baby Elephant recognises him and his voice. Once, when Uncle R was on leave and I had to call for a taxi, Baby Elephant stared at the driver for a few minutes then proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the journey. With Uncle R, he sits on my lap and listens, occasionally giving a shout or a chuckle. Uncle R says it may all seem like a dream to Baby Elephant next time. He will vaguely recall a particular person but will not be able to place who he is or where he met him.

All I know is, Baby Elephant never once cried in Uncle R's taxi and we were always ferried safely and briskly to Grandma's house. As a bonus, we learnt many things about life from Uncle R. So for now, we wish him and his family all the very best and maybe our paths will cross again :)

Walking Baby Robot

I've finally gotten his walking down on video. I've got 2 clips actually, both taken on different days and in different places, but he's thrilled in both!

The second video was just taken over the weekend.
I've noticed he's beginning to exert his preferences and his will more strongly now, as if his newfound mobility has made him realise he can choose where he wants to go and what he wants to play with. And choose he will. Once he has set his eyes (and mind too, it seems) on a particular toy, he will scream if anyone tries to pull him away from it. Vader and I are usually easy going about allowing him to explore, but we draw the line at objects we deem dangerous or when he is obviously sleepy but keeps trying to get up to play. The only way to prevent the tantrums is to distract him tactfully and briskly. Too slow and he gets wind of our true motivations and shrieks even louder than if we had just pulled him away without any attempt to distract him.

Despite the obvious inconveniences of now having to deal with a more assertive child and having to run around more now that he is a whole lot more mobile, I find myself strangely pleased. Not just proud of his achievements, but more so, I am relieved that he is beginning to possess some level of independence. Not relieved because I want to be rid of the need to be constantly watching over him the entire day. Contrary to that, I actually love spending entire days with him on the weekends because I am unable to on weekdays. Not that sort of relief, no.

I am relieved because now he can begin to communicate through gestures, a variety of sounds and through his walking, where he wants to go, what he wants to play with, what he is irritated by (by very deftly swiping away our hands, turning away and raising his voice all at once!) and what he loves. As a tiny baby, there was so little he could do to tell us what he didn't like, he could only cry. If there was an itch somewhere on his tiny body, we wouldn't know. Even if we knew it was an itch, we wouldn't know exactly where. He can now scratch the itch himself. He can differentiate between the type of food he likes and those he dislikes, and he can clearly indicate this! He can choose to explore the things around him and he can choose to come back to us for a hug because he knows we're always watching and never more than an arm's length away. He doesn't need to wait for us to find out what he needs, because sometimes it can take an eternity :) It's as if, he now has free will and is beginning to recognise it. This naturally comes with its own set of complications and risks, but I feel he is better off this way. He is becoming his own person, a distinct individual.

Maybe it's because this strikes a chord within me. Why we were created and given free will, even though it risks the possibilty of us self-destructing, and dragging along the entire human population while we're at it. We are given the gift of experiencing life in all its abundance and for that I am thankful. Funny how I this concept never sunk in until baby Elephant came along. Not funny, considering the fool that I am haha :)

Three quarters of the way

Baby Elephant has just turned 10 months! His developments have taken us by surprise. He has been able to stand and balance on his own for almost 2 months now, and has been eager to walk, with assistance of course. Anything stable and within his grasp, our hands, legs and furniture, he uses to pull himself up and to walk.

Just last week, the 17th of September, he took his first 3 steps, unassisted! We were not around, but my mum's helper told us. We've been trying to get it on video, but each time, it happens too fast. By the time the camera is filming, he's overly excited and starts to jump and shriek at his own achievement, and so loses his balance after the 4th step or so. He now looks like a tiny robot walking, it's hilarious.

This was at 9.5 months, at the nearby park. He loves the park!

A few days before his 10th month. He would attempt to take one wobbly step on his own and then reach for us for support

A week after his 10th month, when he realises that he's gotten so stable just holding on to the sheets with one hand, that he can hold on to mummy's scrunchy with the other and attempt to chase mummy!

Whining when Vader tried to wrap his hair in a towel. His drooling has gotten so bad, Vader decided the tiny baby face towels are now insufficient. He took out the adult-sized hand towels! Hand towels, mind you, not face towels! Of course, Baby Elephant dislikes the large towel with a passion. I think he dislikes anything that reminds him of a blanket. When I try to cover his legs with a blanket when he's asleep, he immediately kicks it off. No idea how he does this and still remains asleep.....

It's hilarious how Vader refuses to let Baby Elephant walk around with a bib, because he says it will only send him the message that he can continue drooling. He says we can teach him not to drool so uncontrollably. I really wonder....... hahhaha but since it's not a monumental issue to me, I just let it go and wipe up the drool when I see it. 

Still waiting to catch his walking on video... it eludes me still!!

Hairstylin'

Just for the fun of it, we styled baby Elephant's hair to resemble a nerd's :)

He still seems playful and somewhat docile here, until he realised that Grandma and Mummy were amusing themselves with his new look. He then shot us this dirty look. I was clicking away on my iphone camera, and when I looked back at the pictures, I was so tickled that both Vader and I give the exact same look when we're annoyed with something.

He wanted to be carried out of the chair, because he had finished his meal. This little one doesn't like sitting or lying down. He doesn't even like crawling, he prefers being on two legs. Yet, we were dawdling.... he knew we were aware that he wanted to be carried, his arms were outstretched, both of them. As his annoyance escalated, he let out a shrill shriek, his entire face an expression of his great displeasure!

He had had enough of our nonsense, we had had enough of goofing around with his hair. He was finally liberated from the confines of his chair, and peace returned to the house. I'm just amused by his expressions and insistent behaviour. He may get distracted, but he rarely forgets what he wants or was originally hankering for. Now, I wonder who he gets this from. Hmmm...

Perspectives, standards, generations apart

Following post is a great big rant on my son's caregiving.


Last Thursday was extremely trying for me. Sometimes, in having the best intentions, and trying to ensure the best gets to the child, I end up becoming such a monster. I had a disagreement with my son's day caregiver, about how certain guidelines that Vader and I give need to be followed and not constantly criticised. I've made a list of the criticisms we have had to endure and probably have to continue living with:

1. The food portions we give him are too large, the books are wrong, don't listen to them - this on the back of my son being able to finish his food

2. Our pram is so big - even though she has only seen it in pictures

3. Why the need to take him home almost every night? Leave him here (at the caregiver's home)

4. Our preferred brand of milk bottles and teats are lousy, because they are supposedly expensive - then why in the end are the teats being used, just because she mistook them for another brand of teats?

4. All our bottles are lousy, because they require the cap insert when making a bottle of formula. Another brand supposedly does not need the insert, because you can shake the bottle with the teat and cover on, and no milk will spill out.

5. Breastmilk is not as good as formula, because the milk is so thin, or at least she says that mine is thin

6. We are being overly considerate and stupid because we would allow the helper to keep her passport - even though she declined and said it would be safer if we kept it for her

7. We are stupid because we don't believe in allowing the helper to clean any other house apart from the one that she is employed in

8. We should mind our own business and not offer to bring the helper to church with us on a weekly basis, because we don't even know if she attends church in her own country. When we say bring the helper to church, we mean, she can follow us if she would like to attend, and that she would not need to help us take care of our son. She can then choose to go on her own if she finds her own friends there in the future.

At one point last Thursday morning, my annoyanced reached its peak, and I couldn't stand the fact that if I needed some peace away from the caregiver's home, I would also have to leave my son there. So I took my son home with me to take care of him for that day, since I would be able to work from home. I hate the fact that I have to be the one to seemingly disrupt the peace, just because I feel strongly about certain issues. I told his day caregiver not to raise her voice at me, because I didn't want to quarrel.

Despite last Thursday's disagreement, I have little choice but to leave my son in the caregiver's hands, because I still have to work. The only saving grace is that I know the caregiver loves my son with her life and he loves her in return as well, and that she would never do anything dubious, or at least not consciously.

This is an indulgent post, haha, for Mummy's pleasure. Many times, I catch myself watching baby Elephant sleep, when I am actually around, that is. Here are some snapshots of him snoozing. He used to sleep on his back when he was younger, then on his side while sucking his thumb. Later on, he began nibbling on his frayed, pink star with yellow tips. Nowadays, he beginning to take on stranger positions, like being face down on the bolster in the last two shots. We've begun taking away his star when we can, especially right after a feed, because of late, he's been sucking on it until he wretches. 

Exhausted after a BIG feed at 3 weeks, I certainly felt that way!

 

Taking up as much space as possible

Godma and Godpa would be so proud that he's taken to praying so readily

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Claiming his space right in the middle, much to the annoyance of Vader :)

Tripled

I have not posted any pictures of baby Elephant when he was born. So this morning, as I was watching him sleep, I realised the changes have crept up on me. He's almost tripled in size and his features have taken on a more boy-like quality instead of a small baby's.





Here he is when he was only a day old.







At four weeks


8.5 months, this morning


Vader refers to him as "Young man!" when he calls out to him, rightly anticipated. HAHA!