Perspectives, standards, generations apart

Following post is a great big rant on my son's caregiving.


Last Thursday was extremely trying for me. Sometimes, in having the best intentions, and trying to ensure the best gets to the child, I end up becoming such a monster. I had a disagreement with my son's day caregiver, about how certain guidelines that Vader and I give need to be followed and not constantly criticised. I've made a list of the criticisms we have had to endure and probably have to continue living with:

1. The food portions we give him are too large, the books are wrong, don't listen to them - this on the back of my son being able to finish his food

2. Our pram is so big - even though she has only seen it in pictures

3. Why the need to take him home almost every night? Leave him here (at the caregiver's home)

4. Our preferred brand of milk bottles and teats are lousy, because they are supposedly expensive - then why in the end are the teats being used, just because she mistook them for another brand of teats?

4. All our bottles are lousy, because they require the cap insert when making a bottle of formula. Another brand supposedly does not need the insert, because you can shake the bottle with the teat and cover on, and no milk will spill out.

5. Breastmilk is not as good as formula, because the milk is so thin, or at least she says that mine is thin

6. We are being overly considerate and stupid because we would allow the helper to keep her passport - even though she declined and said it would be safer if we kept it for her

7. We are stupid because we don't believe in allowing the helper to clean any other house apart from the one that she is employed in

8. We should mind our own business and not offer to bring the helper to church with us on a weekly basis, because we don't even know if she attends church in her own country. When we say bring the helper to church, we mean, she can follow us if she would like to attend, and that she would not need to help us take care of our son. She can then choose to go on her own if she finds her own friends there in the future.

At one point last Thursday morning, my annoyanced reached its peak, and I couldn't stand the fact that if I needed some peace away from the caregiver's home, I would also have to leave my son there. So I took my son home with me to take care of him for that day, since I would be able to work from home. I hate the fact that I have to be the one to seemingly disrupt the peace, just because I feel strongly about certain issues. I told his day caregiver not to raise her voice at me, because I didn't want to quarrel.

Despite last Thursday's disagreement, I have little choice but to leave my son in the caregiver's hands, because I still have to work. The only saving grace is that I know the caregiver loves my son with her life and he loves her in return as well, and that she would never do anything dubious, or at least not consciously.