It's time. Let's see how I've fared in my resolutions list.
1. Be more carefree
This is a tough one, but I think I've made a slight improvement. I choose to dwell on positives more and find myself enjoying it.
2. Where it is not possible to be carefree because I'm annoyed, ignore situations completely and zone out :)
Slight improvement. Yes, I've learnt to ignore people and just carry on doing stuff. It helps that I'm usually too busy to bother with annoying stuff for long.
3. Complete the 30 day shred once the DVD arrives
Fully accomplished!
4. Get on the Bodyrocker program
Accomplished, but on both Bodyrock as well as Zuzkalight's workout channel, depending on whether equipment is needed, length and intensity of the workout. It's fun to choose my workouts each day. I workout 5 times a week- mon, wed, thurs, fri and sat.
5. Do more of what I want / enjoy in terms of work
Not much progress here yet. I need to start working by August due to financial constraints and do what I enjoy on the side, perhaps on weekends.
6. Wear heels more often
Nowhere close, haha! Wore heels all of ONE time on a cny visit. But you know what, this one doesn't bother me. Many chances when I start work or when the kids are slightly older and Vader & I get to go out as a couple again.
7. Breastfeed Chris until he's at least a year old (6 months more! Too soon)
On my way there. At the 10 month mark now, 2 more months. I doubt we will stop at 12 months, except with the introduction of cow's milk in the day when I'm at work.
8. Find more hope in my faith
Yes, I'm relieved to say this is on the mend as well. Not so angry at God all the time and blaming him for sticky situations and circumstances I cannot comprehend. Won't go into the details but will say I do have renewed hope and my perspective on difficulty has somewhat shifted. I'm thankful for that.
9. Get more foot massages
Haha! Not achieved. I no longer feel the need for as many foot massages ever since I started working out. My knots have worked themselves out, there is a spring in my step and I wanna hop around instead of sitting down for a massage. I've been using my free time for to sit and read while enjoying my soy decaf latte instead. It really is a pleasure.
10. Play harder with my boys (all three)
To some extent, yes. But I've also grown busier so I forget to play on certain days. This is a good reminder!
11. Smile more, enjoy many many more belly laughs
Some improvement here, even though with my mom traveling and my helper on home leave, I get cranky quite a bit. I've since embraced the time I get to spend at home instead of lamenting about how crazy busy I get. I just have to go with the flow and rest whenever I can. I won't have entire days at home with my kids forever and I need to treasure the time I've been given now.
12. Take a short trip with my three boys
Highly dependent on whether I get a job soon and manage to save up enough for the end of the year. But the other night, I realized that as much as I'd like to travel to far away lands with them, I'll also be perfectly happy if we could only holiday at home. The travel bug in me craves traveling but if we can't afford it, then I won't pine for it. I've got to learn to be happy with living simply and digging deeper into what good family life is.
That's it!
Countdown to D-DAY
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Aunty Amy
My kids are very blessed to have a helper who loves them.
Last Sunday (15 April 2012), Aunty Amy left for a five week home vacation and was in tears when saying goodbye to them at the airport. I didn't want to prolong the goodbye because baby elephant had not yet seen her tearing and I didn't want him to be affected. That, plus I started tearing up as well. It's supposed to be a happy occasion because she was going home for a well deserved holiday and she is supposed to return after that. So that was the message we wanted to send to baby elephant.
Aunty Amy has been our helper since baby elephant was three months old and since Chris was born. I think she's also naturally drawn to loving children. When we're out on Saturdays, she often points out other kids to me, always with positive comments and not in comparison to our kids.
I guess what touches me is her ability and willingness to care for my kids, many times at her inconvenience. She often rushes through her own meals or doesn't even mind eating a late lunch or dinner because of them. Usually we free up time for her to eat her lunch before noon, but she chooses to have her dinner after 8pm, after she sees that things in the household are settled. This means she will play with the kids while making sure we have time to eat, shower and get ready to put the kids to bed. There are times the kids' schedules are delayed and they're settled only close to 9pm. She never once complained or made a face or showed any signs of reluctance. I worry about her getting gastric sometimes... To me, this goes beyond what is expected of her. To me, only parents need to put up with such inconveniences. So we appreciate her dedication to both the kids and us.
We try hard to reciprocate the kindness but I think she is probably simple to please. On our Saturday morning breakfasts, she Always chooses the cheapest item on the menu *face plant*... and she eats the same thing every single Saturday even though we give her the menu all the time. At Jimmy Monkey, she has a chocolate banana muffin. At Brunetti, she has pancakes. We get her a nice latte each time and I hope she enjoys it. Once, we went to a HK cafe for dinner, she ordered instant noodles with luncheon meat *double face plant*, the portion was so small I unconsciously frowned at the waiter when it was served. We offered her fried rice because baby elephant was certainly not gonna finish even a third of the adult portion served to him, but she said the noodles was enough. We don't like nagging, so we respected her choice.
We are very glad she chose to renew her contract with us. There may come a time, anytime, when she may grow tired of Singapore or maybe even our family. I'll respect that choice too, when she no longer wishes to work with us. And we'll still love her for her overwhelming dedication while she is with us.
Last Sunday (15 April 2012), Aunty Amy left for a five week home vacation and was in tears when saying goodbye to them at the airport. I didn't want to prolong the goodbye because baby elephant had not yet seen her tearing and I didn't want him to be affected. That, plus I started tearing up as well. It's supposed to be a happy occasion because she was going home for a well deserved holiday and she is supposed to return after that. So that was the message we wanted to send to baby elephant.
Aunty Amy has been our helper since baby elephant was three months old and since Chris was born. I think she's also naturally drawn to loving children. When we're out on Saturdays, she often points out other kids to me, always with positive comments and not in comparison to our kids.
I guess what touches me is her ability and willingness to care for my kids, many times at her inconvenience. She often rushes through her own meals or doesn't even mind eating a late lunch or dinner because of them. Usually we free up time for her to eat her lunch before noon, but she chooses to have her dinner after 8pm, after she sees that things in the household are settled. This means she will play with the kids while making sure we have time to eat, shower and get ready to put the kids to bed. There are times the kids' schedules are delayed and they're settled only close to 9pm. She never once complained or made a face or showed any signs of reluctance. I worry about her getting gastric sometimes... To me, this goes beyond what is expected of her. To me, only parents need to put up with such inconveniences. So we appreciate her dedication to both the kids and us.
We try hard to reciprocate the kindness but I think she is probably simple to please. On our Saturday morning breakfasts, she Always chooses the cheapest item on the menu *face plant*... and she eats the same thing every single Saturday even though we give her the menu all the time. At Jimmy Monkey, she has a chocolate banana muffin. At Brunetti, she has pancakes. We get her a nice latte each time and I hope she enjoys it. Once, we went to a HK cafe for dinner, she ordered instant noodles with luncheon meat *double face plant*, the portion was so small I unconsciously frowned at the waiter when it was served. We offered her fried rice because baby elephant was certainly not gonna finish even a third of the adult portion served to him, but she said the noodles was enough. We don't like nagging, so we respected her choice.
We are very glad she chose to renew her contract with us. There may come a time, anytime, when she may grow tired of Singapore or maybe even our family. I'll respect that choice too, when she no longer wishes to work with us. And we'll still love her for her overwhelming dedication while she is with us.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Crap
They say if you don't look like crap after you work out, you haven't worked hard enough.
I must be doing a good job then :)
I'm back on my workouts after resting on Wednesday. It was a good rest, but I felt even better after yesterday's workout. The picture was taken this morning after today's workout.
I must be doing a good job then :)
I'm back on my workouts after resting on Wednesday. It was a good rest, but I felt even better after yesterday's workout. The picture was taken this morning after today's workout.
Picnic in the nude
Chris (on the right) and his friend, Cristan, enjoying baked chicken with carrots, sweet potato, potato, onions, asparagus and mango and nectarine.
Feels like it was just yesterday
4 years.
Fleeting
Short
Intense
Sure feels like it was just yesterday when we were at church, at the hotel, on our wedding day shoot, eating our late steak dinner after the wedding dinner.
Only better.
Fleeting
Short
Intense
Sure feels like it was just yesterday when we were at church, at the hotel, on our wedding day shoot, eating our late steak dinner after the wedding dinner.
Only better.
Lazy
Laziness is:
1. When eating fish, I pick out fish bones by only using my mouth. I refuse to pick out anything by hand because it is slower. Or maybe this is pure greed. (I only ever use my hands and go through the fish with a fine tooth comb when preparing fish for my kids, and possible for an aged husband in future)
2. When I eat oranges, grapefruit and grapes with the seed in and swallow the seeds because I can't be bothered to fish them out of my mouth.
3. When fish bones are small and soft enough to be swallowed with little hazard, I swallow them.
4. Eating prawn with their shells on because again, I cannot be bothered to remove the shells with cutlery or hands before shoving them into my mouth.
5. Swallowing prawn shells because I don't bother spitting them out. I spit out the tail la, because while I'm lazy, I'm not foolhardy. Unless it's fried prawns and the tails are small and crunchy enough for me to chew to bits.
6. When squeezing lime juice onto my mee goreng / mee siam / whatever I might be eating, I don't bother to use a fork to sieve out the seeds. The seeds fall hatter scatter all over my food and no, I don't pick them out. I start mixing them all in. Then when I start eating, I no longer notice the seeds. I swallow all!
7. Always eating fruits like apples and pears with their skin on because again, I cannot be bothered with peeling. My mom-in-law asked me why i don't peel my apples. I didn't know how to answer her, but was thinking why in the world would someone remove the skin when 1)it's fully edible (I do make sure I wash it well to remove whatever pesticides or shit that might be on it), 2)in the time you take to peel the fruit, I would have finished my apple, 3)it contains vitamins and fibre as well. Oranges, I get asked by Vader many times, why I don't 'neaten' the orange before eating, as in peel off some or most the white fiberish stuff (what's it called again? Pith?) on the flesh. I don't know, never occurred to me. If I could eat the orange with the skin on, I would.
But you know what overrides all this laziness? When I prepare fish or fruit for my kids and I remove all the skin and bones and even extract the orange pulp for them to eat. Or when I fry prawns for Vader and I have to stand at the sink shelling and deveining a whole bloody pound of prawns until my fingers are bleeding. And no, I won't accept the peeled ones because I think they are less fresh somehow.
I'd like to say I do this out of love. But I think it might actually be out of fear. Fear that one day my damned laziness might get the better of me and affect my loved ones. Fear that if they inherited my laziness (wrt food that is), they might refrain from trying food that is so good for them.
Oh, I absolutely adore soft shell crabs by the way! Aha!
1. When eating fish, I pick out fish bones by only using my mouth. I refuse to pick out anything by hand because it is slower. Or maybe this is pure greed. (I only ever use my hands and go through the fish with a fine tooth comb when preparing fish for my kids, and possible for an aged husband in future)
2. When I eat oranges, grapefruit and grapes with the seed in and swallow the seeds because I can't be bothered to fish them out of my mouth.
3. When fish bones are small and soft enough to be swallowed with little hazard, I swallow them.
4. Eating prawn with their shells on because again, I cannot be bothered to remove the shells with cutlery or hands before shoving them into my mouth.
5. Swallowing prawn shells because I don't bother spitting them out. I spit out the tail la, because while I'm lazy, I'm not foolhardy. Unless it's fried prawns and the tails are small and crunchy enough for me to chew to bits.
6. When squeezing lime juice onto my mee goreng / mee siam / whatever I might be eating, I don't bother to use a fork to sieve out the seeds. The seeds fall hatter scatter all over my food and no, I don't pick them out. I start mixing them all in. Then when I start eating, I no longer notice the seeds. I swallow all!
7. Always eating fruits like apples and pears with their skin on because again, I cannot be bothered with peeling. My mom-in-law asked me why i don't peel my apples. I didn't know how to answer her, but was thinking why in the world would someone remove the skin when 1)it's fully edible (I do make sure I wash it well to remove whatever pesticides or shit that might be on it), 2)in the time you take to peel the fruit, I would have finished my apple, 3)it contains vitamins and fibre as well. Oranges, I get asked by Vader many times, why I don't 'neaten' the orange before eating, as in peel off some or most the white fiberish stuff (what's it called again? Pith?) on the flesh. I don't know, never occurred to me. If I could eat the orange with the skin on, I would.
But you know what overrides all this laziness? When I prepare fish or fruit for my kids and I remove all the skin and bones and even extract the orange pulp for them to eat. Or when I fry prawns for Vader and I have to stand at the sink shelling and deveining a whole bloody pound of prawns until my fingers are bleeding. And no, I won't accept the peeled ones because I think they are less fresh somehow.
I'd like to say I do this out of love. But I think it might actually be out of fear. Fear that one day my damned laziness might get the better of me and affect my loved ones. Fear that if they inherited my laziness (wrt food that is), they might refrain from trying food that is so good for them.
Oh, I absolutely adore soft shell crabs by the way! Aha!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Cold
Damn you, cold virus! That's for causing my kids to have phlegmy coughs and blocked noses, for their labored breathing while they sleep and for making them lose their voices!
Damn you for causing my throat to hurt and for the fear you cause in me, that if I were to get worse, that I wouldn't be a cheerful and loving mother.
Damn! For being the reason I'd have to skip my workouts until I feel better. Hopefully I'll be back working out tomorrow.
I am insanely boring and I like routines day in day out. Feeling ill throws a spanner in the works and throws me off balance.
For that, I'm gonna visit my hair stylist today. Wahahahahaha!!!
Damn you for causing my throat to hurt and for the fear you cause in me, that if I were to get worse, that I wouldn't be a cheerful and loving mother.
Damn! For being the reason I'd have to skip my workouts until I feel better. Hopefully I'll be back working out tomorrow.
I am insanely boring and I like routines day in day out. Feeling ill throws a spanner in the works and throws me off balance.
For that, I'm gonna visit my hair stylist today. Wahahahahaha!!!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Gastric pains
I've has gastric pains ever since I was a little girl. Even though my dad never lived with us, he was always the one who took care of me during a gastric attack. He empathized because he suffered from them too, and had an ulcer once. He empathized anyway, because I was indeed, daddy's little girl.
He bought biscuits, Milo, soyabean packet drinks for me just so I always had a filling snack on hand whenever I felt hungry. He stocked the fridge with ham and the cupboard with bread or raisin buns. He always reminded me not to eat spicy foods, glutinous rice or anything too acidic.
I remember loving the Milo, biscuits, soyabean drinks, the picnic ham and bread. I remember telling him one day I had had enough of raisin bread and not to buy it everyday. I remember ignoring his advice about spicy foods and becoming a chili fiend instead.
I remember that when my dad did stay with us, he always slept on a thin mattress in the living room. I was the earliest riser in the house and would run out of my mom's bedroom looking for my dad the moment I woke up. I would lie beside him and fall asleep again.
I sleep on a mattress in our study with Chris, because he still nurses at night and we're afraid he might wake baby elephant if we all slept in the same room. Baby elephant comes to our little mattress on the floor everyday, looking to snuggle and I indulge him because I know how good it feels.
Last night, I had bad gastric pains again. That was a few hours ago. They're almost all gone now, thank God. I need to stop the pains from coming back. I worry too much about the boys and how Vader will cope if I ever had to be hospitalized like my dad.
I miss my Papa. Fathers' day is coming right? I need to find some excuse to go out for lunch with him one of these days. It'll be much easier when I start work...
He bought biscuits, Milo, soyabean packet drinks for me just so I always had a filling snack on hand whenever I felt hungry. He stocked the fridge with ham and the cupboard with bread or raisin buns. He always reminded me not to eat spicy foods, glutinous rice or anything too acidic.
I remember loving the Milo, biscuits, soyabean drinks, the picnic ham and bread. I remember telling him one day I had had enough of raisin bread and not to buy it everyday. I remember ignoring his advice about spicy foods and becoming a chili fiend instead.
I remember that when my dad did stay with us, he always slept on a thin mattress in the living room. I was the earliest riser in the house and would run out of my mom's bedroom looking for my dad the moment I woke up. I would lie beside him and fall asleep again.
I sleep on a mattress in our study with Chris, because he still nurses at night and we're afraid he might wake baby elephant if we all slept in the same room. Baby elephant comes to our little mattress on the floor everyday, looking to snuggle and I indulge him because I know how good it feels.
Last night, I had bad gastric pains again. That was a few hours ago. They're almost all gone now, thank God. I need to stop the pains from coming back. I worry too much about the boys and how Vader will cope if I ever had to be hospitalized like my dad.
I miss my Papa. Fathers' day is coming right? I need to find some excuse to go out for lunch with him one of these days. It'll be much easier when I start work...
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