I've been looking at some pictures posted by a dear friend and her husband. Many of the pictures are of them with their friends' kids or with their own nephews or nieces. Yes, I know the first question is, when will they have their own or are they trying? It is obvious how much they love children and how they are loved in turn by them. If we as observers wonder when they will have a child of their own, imagine the level of anxiety they might possibly be undergoing if they were to keep harping on the fact that they have yet to conceive.
I do not know why some of us are blessed with children relatively quickly after the wedding and others are made to wait a little longer, and then there are others who are unable to conceive naturally. I am always tempted to ask why, but having asked for many years (I ask why about several issues, not only about this particular one), I realise sometimes, the answer doesn't come. In place of this answer, a better path emerges. If I had continued to harp on the losses and the have-nots, I would not have appreciated the better plan that had been laid out for me.
My grouse is with the persistent questioning that couples like my friends have to face. These questions are more often to satisfy curiosity than they are out of geniune concern, despite being done unconsciously. While I am not ashamed to post pictures of my son and talk about him freely, I am also keenly aware of the difficulties other couples might be facing. It is always temptingly convenient to ignore the struggles of others, but because these are people dear to me, it is harder to choose convenience over empathy. Each time they play with baby Elephant or comment about how he's growing well, I wish I could ask about their child, but there is none, YET. It makes me feel utterly useless. Then again, it's not about me, is it?!
My grouse is with the persistent questioning that couples like my friends have to face. These questions are more often to satisfy curiosity than they are out of geniune concern, despite being done unconsciously. While I am not ashamed to post pictures of my son and talk about him freely, I am also keenly aware of the difficulties other couples might be facing. It is always temptingly convenient to ignore the struggles of others, but because these are people dear to me, it is harder to choose convenience over empathy. Each time they play with baby Elephant or comment about how he's growing well, I wish I could ask about their child, but there is none, YET. It makes me feel utterly useless. Then again, it's not about me, is it?!
