Who's Opinion counts?

When we become mothers, all of a sudden, everyone seems to have an opinion on what a good mother is. Many of these opinions irk me, not because they are ill intentioned (people are mostly well intentioned actually, when they voice such opinions), but because they seem to think that because a certain method was used before by another mother, then it would work for the next one. Did anyone have the sense to check with the mother if the method continued working ten /twenty/ fifty years down the line? Can anyone be sure they have a guaranteed foolproof method regardless of the individuality of the child? Or maybe, as some of the older folks would say, "All babies the same lah, will work one lah..." yada yada yada... Yes, I sound ungrateful and unneccessarily critical of people who care, so sue me.... I never said I disliked the people, or their concern for that matter, it was the opinions that annoyed me.


Here is a list of opinions on what a good mother should be:

1. should continue working until the child is in primary school to ensure a steady stream of income and also because prior to primary school, children are merely babies who eat, sleep and play
2. should ensure that the work she does is high paying, because it would be irresponsible to bring a child into this world and only be able to provide him the basics (time and love do not count even as basics apparently)
3. must breastfeed until the child is 12 months. Any shorter and the mother is lazy and does not love her child enough
4. should send her child to enrichment classes from 6 months onwards so the child doesn't fall behind when he starts going to school
5. should send the child to some famous nursery/play school because only then will the child develop well
6. must be prepared to move to the area where there is a good school to send the child
7. must strongly encourage (i.e. give the child no other option) the child to become a doctor, because only doctors are smart and are worthwhile human beings. The rest of the population makes up the scum of the earth, that's why pollution is on the rise.
8. must enforce filial piety by ensuring the child gives me money in future

I'm glad I made the list above, because now rereading it, it makes me chuckle. I know the people who voiced the above opinions, and most of them are really sweet people who meant the very best for me, and they each have gone through their own set of challenges and each have grown up with a slightly different belief system, that led to them thinking this way. The list merely isolates the opinions and has taken them out of context, so they sound ridiculous. But I wouldn't be surprised if there are several people who would readily take the above list as serious should-dos when they have their own kids.

So who's opinion matters? Beats me, but I sure as hell know one thing. Observe your child before intervening, talk to your husband about what matters to the two of you, because it should always be a family decision, not an individual one. That's my take, at least. Does my opinion count to others? Doesn't bother me as much nowadays and I am happy.