Purposeful drawings

He can draw!

Donuts! A boy after my own heart :)

Getting a life (back)!

Four days a week, I don't even step out of the house. I do have my showers every morning and evening and change into day clothes in the mornings and PJs at night to give me some semblance of a life. So I'm tremendously grateful for the other three days that I do get to leave the house.

Once a week, we cart the two boys over to my mom's place. While Chris naps in the afternoon, I run out for a quick session of foot reflexology - my only me time :) But this is enough to keep me going and often finds me all chirpy and ready for mommy duty again!

Sundays, we head out for church. It's really nice to have the whole family together in church, even though I'm carrying Chris the entire time. But Vader carries baby Elephant the entire time and he's much heavier, so I can't complain hahhah

Saturdays, ahhhh Saturdays..... the triple "F" experience! Family, food and fun! In order of priority, yes! We enjoy brunch together and sometimes get a spot of shopping done as well.

At jimmy monkey. Vader tells me the coffee's good!

I wanted to get in with him.... heh!

Simple Parenting

In my efforts to give my children the best, I think I've failed on many counts. What is the best? Who defines this? Which parenting book do we choose to follow, since there are different camps of parenting styles? See, I cannot ever decide which route is the best, and so my mind constantly flip flops from one option to the next.

A friend posted this link about "Simplicity Parenting" on her Facebook wall:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/abi-cotler-oroarty/parenting-simplifying_b_829503.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

I like that it talks about raising calmer, happier and more secure children. The more I read articles and books about parenting, the more I'm convinced I want to raise children to be secure, curious and passionate about life and about whatever craft they choose to be involved in. My role as a parent has to be to raise them to achieve their own personal best and maybe push them a little more. So regardless of what they want to do, they have to be passionate about it. If they were to choose to be truck drivers, then my job would be to motivate and encourage them to be the best. I like that the author (Kim John Payne, M.Ed) of the book  "Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids." describes childhood as an unfolding experience, rather than an enrichment opportunity - which he likens to an arms race. I couldn't agree more.

I also like that the final words of the book ask us as readers to simply begin, implying that we should stop worrying and fretting about how to get to our final destination.

So having read this article, I would say that at the very least, I have a clearer picture of which camp I'm in. Fret not? That's a tough call for me. Fret less, possible :)

Bye for now! See you later, alligator!

Only Child

My sunday school teacher used to tell us that God loves us (His creations) as if we were his only child(ren), despite the world being made up of billions of people. It was one of those teachings that intrigued me, because it made me feel special, and yet I never found myself fully convinced, because it seemed impossible. It was like the concept of Santa Claus. You find it impossible to believe one man could deliver all the Christmas presents in the world in just one night, but you want to believe in him anyway, just because his existence makes us feel special and desired. As I grew into an adult, the cynicism that creeped in persuaded me that this teaching might just be a feel good tactic aimed at keeping me faithful and obedient.

I'm glad to say reality has bitten cynicism in the ass. As I was talking to Chris yesterday, I caught myself unawares as I told him I loved him as if he were my only child. Several instances, when I'm spending one on one time with baby Elephant, I feel as if he were my only child. Not that I forget one when I'm with the other, but it's as if I'm drawn into their world and am consumed by their presence, their needs, likes and dislikes at that moment.

A dear friend asked me, if having two kids resulted in my love being divided, because in terms of time spent with each one, it certainly feels that way, to all parties involved. However, the intensity and the quality of the emotions are multiplied somewhat. I cannot explain how this is even possible, but it is.


To baby Elephant, I love you as if you were my only child and you are more than good enough for me.

To Chris, you may have arrived second, but I love you as if you were my only child, and you are more than enough for me.

'Nuff said.

32 Back & Forth

Turning 32.

Things I like about it:

1. I get to celebrate it with many people! Vader, Baby Elephant and Chris, plus the many other friends you've reconnected with, mainly because you have become parents, and then go on to become dear friends with :)
2. It's not an OLD age, youth is relatively still within my grasp
3. I'm not an inexperienced juvenile anymore. (Just the other day, someone called me to ask me about my work and my experience, then went on to ask if I was married. When I said I was, and that I had two kids, she gave a sigh of relief. I could almost hear the speech bubble in her head shouting "Thank goodness! I thought  was talking to some young thing with no experience!" - I was tempted to say that being married with kids is not really an indication of experience, but decided not to.... heheh
4. I can look back and have lots to be thankful for - like I cannot believe I'm still happily surviving after 32 years. When I first met Vader, I told him my life would probably be over at 30, and I actually believed it, because I dreaded it then.
5. There is still a huge expanse of life, waiting to be explored, and I can explore, because of point 2 - I'm not yet decrepit and waiting to keel over at any moment

What I dislike about it:

1. Because life is relatively busy, with work and kids, birthdays for the adults now become almost non-issues... this year I almost felt like there would be no celebration and I was beginning to accept it
2. Expectations build - maybe my own, maybe my perception of what society expects of me... I don't know.... part of me feels the pressure to conform, part of me yearns to rebel - so nothing achieved that I would say I'm proud of
3. There just isn't time to celebrate it properly

On the evening of my birthday, I decided to live in the moment and heck care everything I worry about. I think that was the best decision I've made this month. I look at my tired eyes, and then I look at my kids. Somehow the look in their faces causes me to forge forward with renewed hope. This is why I hoard pictures of them.

Vader doesn't like his pictures on blogs, not even mine. But I disregard this totally. I love this picture to bits! Just putting up pics of the kids doesn't suffice. A pic of the kids and me? Someone's missing. So heck!